when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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