So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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