whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
How does one acquire holy water?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
