Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
