guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
