Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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