i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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