I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Say something about gay babies.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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