Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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