Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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