I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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