Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize