He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize