Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize