How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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