help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
