i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize