She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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