so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
