i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
smell my finger.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
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