I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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