Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
