pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
