its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
