Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
