24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I could fuck to npr.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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