Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
