Non-Jews are for practice
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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