She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
