Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Dick very happy bro
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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