DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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