I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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