Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
