i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
