I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
