We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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