Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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