rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
