Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
