Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
