The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
