That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
