Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Randomize
