K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
