Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
