we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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