No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
soo... how was my night?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize