shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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