That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
