Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
