Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
