How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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