is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
