Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
