God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
