Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
