Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
