Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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