Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
