You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
